Nancy toys with the idea of having a mental breakdown

Today was dominated by the craziness of boys and underscored by my own psychological distress. I was accompanied by my three big boys and Devin. They were enthusiastic. I was not.

You see, I have been under the weather. My voice is gone, I'm sleepy, my throat hurts like a mutha'... I even had a strep test yesterday and am awaiting the results. I just really feel like doodoo. So physically, I am not up to speed.

I am a little off emotionally today as well, probably because I've been sick for days. I'm sort of frazzled, can't make a clear decision, am having trouble focusing, don't experience joy in the things that usually bring me joy (yardsaling?!) I even snapped at Devin when Henry caused him to spill his slushee on my ass. (So sorry, Devin! I love you, I really do!)

Plus, we are leaving for a plane trip to California tomorrow. I have to pack*, encourage the rest of my family to do the same, do some last minute Target shopping, secure my pets (two dogs, 5 guinea pigs, 5 gerbils), leave detailed notes for the petsitter, and tidy the house so I can return to some sense of order.

(*A note on packing: Holy crap. I have a hard time with this! It is related to my inability to dress myself in the morning. I require an outfit each day which is perfectly suited to the weather and the occasion. I refuse to suffer neither chill nor sweat nor social scorn when I have approximately 400 articles of clothing in my closet (average cost: 25cents.) I assume that I must own the perfect combination of clothing for every single change in degree of temperature and social setting. And if I look cute, that's gravy. But how can I accurately forecast my fashion requirements 6 days in the future? And in a different state, no less! I could check weather.com for the raw temperature forecasts but what about our itinerary? Will I be shopping in a strip mall or on Rodeo drive? Will we eat at Chili's or a quaint italian restaurant with a lovely patio, strolling musicians, and misting machines? Will we row a boat or sail a yacht? While I could pack everything I own, just in case, I have to limit myself to one third of my husband's giant Air Force issued duffle bag. They charge for checked bags now, you know! Ugh.)

So I was admittedly edgy and impatient during our adventure today. I didn't whoop or holler. I didn't pretend my arms were airplane wings as we hauled ass down Old Caseyville Rd. I didn't take a single photo at QT. I laughed less than usual and was less entertained by their boyish shenanigans.

For instance, when, around 8AM, they all decided not to use the doors of the car anymore and only enter and exit through the windows, I didn't giggle with delight like I usually would have. Instead I shrugged my shoulders and shook my head.

And when Devin announced he was spending 2 dollars on this pumpkin costume and then wearing it for the rest of the morning I didn't laugh uproariously, I merely smiled and did a little chuckle.

And when they all donned weapons and armor and insisted that I photograph their orchestrated warfare in the driveway of an upscale home in The Orchards, I was less enthusiastic about my commitment to photo journalism than normal.

In retrospect, they were playful and funny. They enjoyed each other in their own boyish ways. I should have enjoyed them more. I should have "woohoo-ed" when I saw those foam swords! I should have cranked the radio! Who am I to dictate the appropriate volume to be used in the car I'm driving?? Who am I to request that physical violence be restricted to outside the vehicle?! Who am I to demand that liquid refreshment remain inside its cup?!!!

The freakin' driver, that's who!

Deep breath.

Okay.

The Find of the day were these two original works of art by the brother of the yardsale proprietess who is a starving artist (the brother, not the proprietess.) They appear to be acrylic on paneling, each one 4 feet square. They have a tough, shiny surface which is likely some polyurethane finish. The colors are perfect for Louie's room and he loved the mystical dragon subject matter.

The proprietess (we use this awkward term because it is better than "the lady who was selling this stuff in her driveway") asked me to make her an offer. This puts the buyer in an uncomfortable position, don't you agree? To be forced, on the spot, to put monetary value on something personal to the seller? Especially when the merchandise is original artwork and the buyer (me) is having a physically and emotionally draining week and has been shopping for 2 hours with escapees from Juvie?! In a different venue I would consider these fairly priced at hundreds of dollars. Maybe if they were professionally framed and I was in a gallery, viewing the paintings over the rim of some fine wine poured by a gloved servant, as a string quartet played in the other room, and the young, handsome artist flirted openly with me... I'd pay hundreds in that scenario. But unframed and propped against a garage in the hot sun I think they command a bit less dough.

So I apologetically offered 20 bucks for the pair.

The proprietess wasn't offended exactly but she did feel the need to mention how low that price was and that her brother, the artist, is starving. She countered with $40 for the pair. Sold. Louie, my 13 year old, was really excited to get some original artwork for his room, and isn't that worth at least $40?

The paintings are hung already and look great whether or not you are drinking professionally poured wine:

Honestly, given my brush with mental breakdown today, that's all I've got for you.

See you next week.

Nancy

P.S.

It has been a few hours since I blogged. To combat my emotional distress I did the following:

1. I walked my dog briskly for three miles while listening to Tim McGraw on my iPod.
2. I drank a beer.
3. I took a nap.
4. I got a "foot treatment" from JoJo which, while unconventional, was as good as any salon pedicure.

Now I feel better. Not to worry! It really was a hoot when they were diving in through the windows of the car. I'll be giggling all night just thinking about it!