breathless with anticipation (by Laura)

Readers, the tri-city sale is a mere 48 hours away. Yes.
No, you can't come with us. We have, at last count, 9 (maybe 10) people in the van. Think of the possibilities! We can disperse rapidly at each stop, sending dizzying amounts of people scurrying out of the van at cockroach-caught-late-at-night-in-the-kitchen-in-the-south speeds, phones ready to frantically call each other when a jackpot is discovered! The efficiency will be unsurpassed.
To pass the time, I am surfing this most excellent site called threepotatofour.com (Three Potato Four people, I will expect some sort of royalty service for sending our 28 devoted followers your way. Thanks.) and I see this wooden bench with metal shelves for shoes below. I tried to post the link but blogspot.com won't let me, the little snot. Or, I am so hopelessly clueless about blogging and technology, which is probably more true than the first scenario. Anyway. Go to this website and find the metal bench. It is most excellent. And check back in Saturday afternoon.

sinks and sales

Readers, it was pointed out to me by a very faithful readers today (Hi, Sara!) that both Nancy and I neglected to write anything this weekend. There is a very, very, very good reason for that: neither of us went saling. Nancy is suffering from exhaustion brought on by her doctor taking her off her wonderful thyroid medicine in order to take ridiculous numbers of pictures of her neck. Sure, sure, there are supposedly good medical reasons for such nonsense, but come on. We miss our zany friend.
As for me, I had to work a health fair, as part of my "rigorous nursing program". Really. I told people how to get to the 15 foot long inflatable brain on the third floor of the city museum. Yes. For that I missed yard saling.
But wait! There's more! Next weekend is the mother-load. The route 66 of yard sales. The Pacific Ocean of cheap treasures. The Himalayan of all junk-iness. Yes. The tri-city sale. I am so excited as I sit here to type this, I barely can comprehend how to get through this week. In other good news, Nancy goes back on her meds this week, so I hope her thyoid levels will be through the roof. Personally, I plan to be so excited and hyper my friends seriously contemplate making me walk most of the way. We have new friends accompanying us: I already mentioned new friend Heather, and now new friend Tammy will be joining us as well, although she is driving seperately. As soon as she sees the crazy antics we get into, she will be itching to join us in the van o'dreams. Sara might also be following in her own car, but I bet she will be regretting that decision as she sees us getting pulled over by the police for erratic driving brought on by wild skiiving. Samantha is undecided....she has a family trip planned. Yes. As if that could possibly reach the level of fun we will experience. Our (ok, my) plan is to leave no later than 6am, for arrival at 6:30, even though it officially starts at 7. Everyone knows the seriously good junk gets taken first.
Oh! One more thing for you 28 devoted followers, you! I bought a seriously old sink today! I will take a picture soon. My dear, sweet husband hates it! It is most excellent, of course!

posting pointers (by Laura)

Readers, you know I am in school yes? Or, as Nancy so thoughtfully puts it, my "rigurous nursing program". So I am sitting here studying and can not absorb any more information on silly drugs with silly names like succyinylcholine (I may have mispelled that one), so I went on beloved craigslist to do my Thursday research. Yard sale season is coming to a fast and furious close, so I start my crack (Ha! I am studying cocaine for my test, too!) researching the Sunday after our weekend's adventures have come to an end. There are so many. If I don't research every day, I will miss treasure-ful sales. But, readers, I don't know how much more I can take. I will get bad karma back on this one, but I just can't handle another post that says "Literally, we have almost everything you can imagine". Seriously?
Yard sale posters, please, give the address (include zip)and directions. Take a picture. The words multi-family should not enter your post if you invited your mom over with her collection of scary dolls. No one reads the list of what you have at your sale. If it is for charity, include that. If it is an estate sale, include that, but make sure it is truly an estate sale and not what you consider to be an estate sale. Don't list your sale 3 weeks ahead of time and then neglect to include a posting at a date closer to your sale. FYI: subdivision sale includes means it is post-1976 and it most likely is a vinyl village and I won't waste my time. Your standard subdivision sales typically are baby-item-heavy and mostly everything is made in China. Target and Wal-mart are the frequent sites of origination of the items. Community-wide sale means it is pre-1976, has lead paint galore and good junk. Rummage sale is reserved for churches, parking lots, apartment community centers, senior homes, and possibly storage centers that have been repossessed. Garage, carport, stoop, tag, and yard sales are self-explanatory. Finally, town or city-wide sales are the mother load. This means an entire incorporated area that has a main street or historic center. Usually you will find a tractor or an outhouse on these sales. This doesn't mean a block sale, which is a city street. Nancy may have already covered this in an earlier posting, but I just don't know how many more incorrect postings I can take.

Belleville bonanza (by Laura)

Readers, base was sponsoring a yard sale. As you can see, it blew. On my list of yard sale must-attends, base sales are barnacles. Samantha assured me she has been to one at this very location and it was fabulous. I will just have to take her word for it.

Speaking of Samantha, here she is,atn an estate sale chock-full of must-haves for old ladies. 5 kinds of whisks? Check! 25 polyester sweaters? Check! Musty, mice-poisioned basements? Check!

Are you named Todd? Do you know anyone with an itty bitty derriere named Todd who is in need of an authentic 1970s child's rocker? No? Neither did we.

Here is the most fascinating nutcracker I have ever seen. It is a duck. See? It says so on the outside. I never would have known it was a nutcracker had Samantha not been so brilliant and told me that was its use. Really, what would we do without her?

This is the ugliest fishtank. Ever. It almost gives me hives just looking at it.

It was a Belleville bonanza this weekend, readers. We did not have to travel far to reach some serious treasures. I am pleased to report that Sara may, at this very moment, have enough whisk brooms to achieve her long-awaited funky kitchen window valence, that is just how treasure-ful Saturday was. Now, I normally look disdainfully down the tip of my large Roman nose (and I can't even fairly use the adjective "patrician" here, because, really it is just large) upon Belleville sales, since we have already well-established my snobbery. I can not complain after yesterday, however. Bellevillians pulled out the stops to make this a weekend to remember.

In two weekends is the tri-city sale, readers, with the trifecta of Nancy, Samantha, and myself once again hijacking the van o'dreams to over-caffeinate our sleepy little melatonin centers in our brains to achieve the high that is the sale of the year. We may even have a new friend this year! Heather, a newcomer to our neighborhood, might be joining us! Mark it on your calendar to read the blog!

9/11 Part Two

Here is a comprehensive list of the items we purchased today, in chronological order, by shopper:

Laura:

American Eagle canvas purse, coveted by both Laura and Nancy - $2

Gasoline for Laura's Sensible Sedan - $31.26

Small garbage can - $2.50

Tiny Vera Bradley purse - $5

Books for kids - .50

Roller skates for kids, which may not actually fit - .25

Fest table and benches - TBA!

Metal rack designed for transporting glass milk jugs - $2

Quilt and shams, king size, mildew smelly - $11

Ten white tea towels - $2

Mini blender because the current Graze blender has no lid and that is just messy - $1

Three random wooden things - free

Books for kids - $1

Two sets of sheets, twin size - $1.50

Books for kids - .50

Nancy:

Coffee for two, necessary because it was only 7 freakin' AM - $2.43

Books for kids - $4

Candelier - $8

Littlest Pet Shop pets - $6

Wicker laundry basket - $2

Softback thesaurus - .75

White closet rack for guinea pig purposes (don't ask) - .50

Chico's blouse - $1.25

Two Bionicles, assembled - .50

Three Rice Crispy Treats - $1.50

One can Diet Coke - .47 (I didn't have enough change to pay the full 50 cent price.)

Book for kids - .75 plus .25 fee to make aggressively marketing 'tween stop harassing me

Craft books - $1

As you can see, we had a successful day.

Below are the visual highlights, with the hilarious commentary you have come to expect from us YSA authors:

This holiday decoration scared me. At first glance, we see a pumpkin father gently guiding his pumpkin son as the son learns to master a tricycle. Upon further inspection, we see a pumpkin zombie about to strangle an innocent pumpkin child. It's a spooky holiday, to be sure.

Next, you see this wonderful cat playground with two stuffed cats atop, demonstrating it's recreational benefits. The proprietess of this sale claimed to have built this structure, clearly for the ultimate happiness of her one time feline friend. But where is the cat? She says she "got rid of" it. This raises an important question: are these truly Ty stuffed animals or are they in actuality taxidermied feline specimens? We have seen stranger things, Readers.

Here is Laura with her coffee and her new mini-garbage can. I say we dress Hudson up in green faux-fur and force him to trick-or-treat as Oscar the Grouch. (FYI - her sweater comes to us via Jamie, the Oak Knoll friend who sold us her high quality clothing, then Saralee who bought me this sweater for five dollars, then I gave it to Laura. Very sassy, no?)

And finally, the JUGS.

The city-wide sale in Albers included a comprehensive map of all registered sales. One sale on Broadway advertised "JUGS" for sale. A compelling sale item for two moms who have nursed eight children, to be sure. It turns out that "JUGS" is a brand name for some sort of pitching machine. Yours for only $150.

You know I would have paid ten times that for some actual jugs that were worth advertising. I'm just sayin'. I was disappointed.

Stay tuned in, Readers. When will Laura get possession of her fest table and how much will she pay? Who will haul it and in what vehicle? Is Geoff on board or regrettably resistant to her economic creativity? These question and more will be answered in our next post!

Yardsales 9/11 Part One

Before you read this, you must scroll down and read Laura's post about the same day...

Did you do it? Go! Right now!

Alrighty then. Now that you fully appreciate the basics of our Albers experience, I will add a few more details.

First, it is election season in the town of Albers. And from the signs I saw today, most of the candidates for office are in the Albers family. Forget about Richie Daley retiring as Chicago's mayor. The city of Albers knows political family dynasties. I can only imagine the bribes and graft involved in getting on the yardsale map for the Albers city-wide sale.

Laura was spot-on when she said we wanted all the great garage contents that were not-for-sale. She illustrated the best way to restrict buyers from poking through your desirables - the visual barrier. The giant silver tarp was brilliant - bold, blatant, and blunt. Usually, there is just some hazy no-man's-land dividing the yardsale merchandise from the stuff the proprietor still treasures. We wander from sales floor to stock room without knowing it. In fact, all the BEST stuff was behind the invisible-iron-curtain-of-retention. But seriously... when we ask, "How much for this old metal stool?" and you reply, "Oh, that's not for sale." the first thing I think is, "Really? What if I offered you a million dollars? THEN would it be for sale?"

Everything has a price, Readers. The contents of your garage, while precious to you, do indeed have street value. The beauty of the yardsale phenomenon is that through our early-morning-coffee-drinking-map-following-bargain-hunting adventures we are all searching for that fulcrum where supply and demand hang in the balance. If it is junk to you and treasure to me, the deal is an easy exchange. But what if we both desire the object before us? How much cash, cold and hard, does it take for you to part with your cherished material possessions?

Take the fest table, for example.

The fest table is an artifact from Germany Oktoberfests. Quite a few military men apparently buy these tables when stationed in Germany and haul them back to the states as a trophy of sorts. (Like a rug from Afghanistan or a tonsu from Japan. Don't get me started.) The fest table is like an American card table, foldable and easily stored, with multiple practical uses. It is a long and thin wooden table with collapsable metal legs and two long, thing benches completing the set. Imagine gallons of ale, dozens of pewter beer steins, and a flock of St. Pauli Girls. Now fill in the blanks spots with this table and its benches.

Laura will have to post pictures of her new fest table. What I want you to understand is that when we first saw these items they were NFS. They were prized possession of our new friend (and Albers resident) Mack, fulfilling one of their many potential uses as yardsale display tables. Here is how the conversation went:

Laura: How much for these excellent benches?

Mack: Oh. They are not for sale.

Laura: But they are so excellent.

Nancy, from the sidelines: everything has a price.

Laura: I want them... But wait! Look at this table! It matches!

Mack: Yes. It is a set. It's a fest table.

It went on like this for a little while. I will let Laura explain the details of the negotiation, the decision making, and the ultimate transportation of the fest table and its benches. Suffice it to say, I believe she is now the owner of a fest table set. The question? If I offer her a million dollars, will she sell it to me?

Albers!

Nancy and I traveled to the fine village of Albers, IL early this morning. These good people were ready and waiting with extremely good organization of their treasures, as you can see below. Notice the impeccable cleanliness of the garage:




Now, if your garage is like 99% of the garages we come across yardsaling, there are certain items in there that are not for sale. Many times today we were thwarted in our attempts to buy some cool item like an antique chair or cabinet, only to be told emphatically it was NFS. Here is a display of how to proclaim NFS without having to repeat yourself 100 times in one morning:


Here is the village of Albers, replete with various farming equipment. And when I say "farming equipment", I don't mean some mansy-pansy caterpillar used once to haul tree limbs away. No, sir, I mean manly, heavy-duty combine-type equipment, used to till actual farms, that pollute heady amounts of carbon dioxide in the air: these are tractors, people.

When you yardsale in a farming community, you run across farm-related items, the most basic and ovious, of course, being food. I wasn't in the mood for raw potatoes at 7am, but you have to admire the farminess of these people:

As it has been posted widely before, I am insultingly cheap. Nancy doesn't like to bargain like I do; in fact, she often pays more than asking price to 1. make up for my miserliness, and 2. she thinks people undervalue their merchandise, and 3. she has a generous and kind nature. Here she is, captured on camera, during the rare act of her wheeling and dealing on a candalier:

Readers, it was a tiring, fun day. We also went to the cities of Lebanon and O'Fallon after Albers. However, as any good yardsaler knows, the good stuff is taken by 8am, so by the time we got to the other places, we couldn't spare much enthusiasm for what was left.

I forget what sales are next week; today was so overwhelming with sale after sale of city-wide treasure-hunting, that I dare not look towards next week until I have completely recovered from this one, which may take a few days.

moving heavy furniture while giggling

This is Shawn or Sean or Sian. He so graciously agreed to pose with this very interesting battle weapon. I am still unsure about this spiky club-like instrument of pain, but Shawn or Sean or Sian assured me it wasn't real. I was inclined to believe him, because, hey, he had the beat-down stick and I had my camera. Not much good if it comes to hand-to-hand, if you know what I mean. He is very nice, and I am not just writing that because I am scared.





Sara and I saled today. We went to this very sweet little sale run by two elderly ladies. I don't know if it was sweet elderly lady 1 or sweet elderly lady 2 who crocheted this darling little ducky soap holder, but I mean, seriously. As Sara so accurately put it, "You can really see the love put into this." I have blogged about this before, but if you have time to put warm and fuzzy covers over items that don't need covers, well, that is just ducky for you. (Ha!)

Here is Sara, on the third attempt to get this photo. I have, in addition to terrible navigational skills, terrible photography skills. Evidentally I can not hold the camera still or press the "take picture now button" with any finesse. Sara was so patient with my horribly lacking skills.

We found these excellent metal tins filled with Yu-Gi-Oh cards for our boys. I am saving them for mine for Christmas, so Dominic is sworn to secrecy that he received his today.

The above photos were all taken today. The below photos were taken earlier this week. Here's the story (because you just know there is a story): Our friends the Isoms remodel homes. The buy them, renovate them, and sell them. They bought this wonderful home on our street and invited Nancy and I to go through and take anything we would like. Our mutual friend Mark restores furniture. Nancy asked Mark if he would restore this beautiful old cabinet for the school auction in March. He said yes, so Nancy and I once again pulled out the fancy moving moves and schlepped down the boulevard with heavy objects.

Here is Nancy with her furniture dolly. Really, why have we not thought of dollies before?

Here is another cabinet that we attempted to move to my house. Apparently it was not very sturdy.

Here is that same cabinet, 3 minutes before.

Here is Nancy attempting to control the giggling while I was wrestling with the miraculously collapsing cabinet.

Here is the top part of the cabinet. Really, this is the good one.

So Nancy and I were thinking of starting a moving company, because a)we are professionally incompetent, b) we have no insurance or liability of any type, c) we would keep whatever interesting junk we were asked to move, and d) we tend to stop traffic along our street. Also we would only be willing to move things up and down the boulevard using wagons or dollies, usually while pushing a baby in a baby stroller. What do you think? Is this a great business concept or what?

In any case, the dilapidated cabinet is safely ensconsed in Mark's cavernous garage, awaiting his magical woodoworking skills, and if you are a SHS parent reading this, remember: Bid high on this glorious object. Only you know the true story of strife, tribulation, mountains of dust and unhealthy airborn-particles inhaled into previously-healthy lungs that went into the salvaging and resoration of this piece. And laughing. Lots and lots of laughing.

Next week, readers, is the Webster Groves neighborhood sale. I.Can.Not.Wait. Seriously. It is bound to be delightful. And then, then, THEN, the mother of all yard sales, the Olympics of the true yard salers......the Tri-city sale. Yes. You will recall a year ago we blogged about this special event. Caffeine was soaring through my veins like never before, the van o'dreams was put through the trenches and came out victorious, and we scored some serious junk. October 2nd, folks. Be ready.