Here is a comprehensive list of the items we purchased today, in chronological order, by shopper:
Laura:
American Eagle canvas purse, coveted by both Laura and Nancy - $2
Gasoline for Laura's Sensible Sedan - $31.26
Small garbage can - $2.50
Tiny Vera Bradley purse - $5
Books for kids - .50
Roller skates for kids, which may not actually fit - .25
Fest table and benches - TBA!
Metal rack designed for transporting glass milk jugs - $2
Quilt and shams, king size, mildew smelly - $11
Ten white tea towels - $2
Mini blender because the current Graze blender has no lid and that is just messy - $1
Three random wooden things - free
Books for kids - $1
Two sets of sheets, twin size - $1.50
Books for kids - .50
Nancy:
Coffee for two, necessary because it was only 7 freakin' AM - $2.43
Books for kids - $4
Candelier - $8
Littlest Pet Shop pets - $6
Wicker laundry basket - $2
Softback thesaurus - .75
White closet rack for guinea pig purposes (don't ask) - .50
Chico's blouse - $1.25
Two Bionicles, assembled - .50
Three Rice Crispy Treats - $1.50
One can Diet Coke - .47 (I didn't have enough change to pay the full 50 cent price.)
Book for kids - .75 plus .25 fee to make aggressively marketing 'tween stop harassing me
Craft books - $1
As you can see, we had a successful day.
Below are the visual highlights, with the hilarious commentary you have come to expect from us YSA authors:
This holiday decoration scared me. At first glance, we see a pumpkin father gently guiding his pumpkin son as the son learns to master a tricycle. Upon further inspection, we see a pumpkin zombie about to strangle an innocent pumpkin child. It's a spooky holiday, to be sure.
Next, you see this wonderful cat playground with two stuffed cats atop, demonstrating it's recreational benefits. The proprietess of this sale claimed to have built this structure, clearly for the ultimate happiness of her one time feline friend. But where is the cat? She says she "got rid of" it. This raises an important question: are these truly Ty stuffed animals or are they in actuality taxidermied feline specimens? We have seen stranger things, Readers.
Here is Laura with her coffee and her new mini-garbage can. I say we dress Hudson up in green faux-fur and force him to trick-or-treat as Oscar the Grouch. (FYI - her sweater comes to us via Jamie, the Oak Knoll friend who sold us her high quality clothing, then Saralee who bought me this sweater for five dollars, then I gave it to Laura. Very sassy, no?)
And finally, the JUGS.
The city-wide sale in Albers included a comprehensive map of all registered sales. One sale on Broadway advertised "JUGS" for sale. A compelling sale item for two moms who have nursed eight children, to be sure. It turns out that "JUGS" is a brand name for some sort of pitching machine. Yours for only $150.
You know I would have paid ten times that for some actual jugs that were worth advertising. I'm just sayin'. I was disappointed.
Stay tuned in, Readers. When will Laura get possession of her fest table and how much will she pay? Who will haul it and in what vehicle? Is Geoff on board or regrettably resistant to her economic creativity? These question and more will be answered in our next post!
Why does my hair always look like a Brillo pad that has been ridden hard and put up wet, if you know what I mean? Seriously, I am old. You'd think I would have learned to tame that mop before now.
ReplyDeleteThe plan, readers, as of now, is to meet Mack on base on Thursday and fork over $75. Geoff is so far unaware of the plan. I will probably have to tell him soon.
Nancy, you are a brilliant, funny, and talented author who deserves the Pulitzer for these insightful glimpses into the yardsaling public. Bravo!