Yardsale fashion and Pirates

Jesus, it was hot yesterday. By 9AM it was about 120 degrees. Seriously. And I was not dressed for the weather. How could one be dressed for such weather? To be comfortable in this weather one would have to be naked and submersed in water.

A word about yardsale fashion: practicality reigns. I require pockets in the article of clothing I choose. This could be a skirt, pants, or shorts, but there must be pockets. And these pockets must be deep enough for the important items I carry when I yardsale. I have a pre-determined organizational system of pocket filling so I can locate these things in seconds during a crucial yardsale negotiation. Here is a map of my pocket organization system:

As you can see, my cell phone goes in the front right pocket. Cash, usually 2 dozen singles and as many quarters, goes in the front left. Back right holds my bright yellow Yardsale Adventures blog web address cards which I distribute widely. The back left pocket is intentionally left empty for possible yardsaling contingencies.

In addition to the pocket requirement, the clothes I select must be comfortable. We are in and out of the car many, many times during each yardsale adventure and my clothes must allow for full range of movement. Also, I sometimes have to run from sale to sale or jump wildly in the air to express my excitement. Finally, the clothes worn for yardsaling must be reasonably attractive because, as you know, I am sometimes recognized by YSA fans and want to make a nice impression.

So yesterday I chose a cotton, tank-style blouse (25 cents) in a navy fabric with teal polka dots. I pared it with Gap Long and Lean jeans ($1) bought last week at a yardsale. At 6AM the outfit met all my YSA fashion requirements. But by 8AM, the heat of the day had made me sweat profusely and this caused my jeans to stretch and sag so much that they were falling down. Sure, the pockets were deep enough, but the weight of the phone/cash/cards combined with the sweaty sagginess made me almost drop my drawers. Laura too had a pants problem. But hers was just because she is skinny. Here we are demonstrating the falling-down-ness of our pants.

We started late, as Laura said, but only a few minutes late. We arrived at the first sale of the day at 7:05, caffeine surging through our veins, our enthusiasm uncontainable. We saw the two local celebrities Laura mentioned. I bought a metal bowl. Moving on!!

I switched to Diet Pepsi. After 2 large mugs of coffee to start the day I need to cool off with the bittersweet effervescence of a diet cola. Maybe 3 diet colas. Especially on yardsale mornings. Hyper-activity is part of the fun.

So we sped to The Ogles. Samantha dropped little pieces of organic, high-fiber muffin out her window as we wound around, looking for the "multi-street sale" advertised on the main drag. We figured a trail of breadcrumbs was our only hope of ever getting out of The Ogles, a neighborhood that has held us temporarily captive more times than I can remember.

The Ogles's sales were plentiful and robust. This is where Laura scored the bag-o-Bakugon, that lucky duck. I think I bought some Tupperware. But by far, the zenith of this neighborhood sale was when Samantha hit the baby-supply-jackpot: a Boppy, a bouncy seat, an Eddie Bauer portable crib, and a box of 100 size 1 diapers. I think she paid $20 for the lot.

But the most blog-worthy site in The Ogles was this collection of cookie jars:

This represents a mere third of the owner's collection. For $15 each, or three for $25, you can have Big Bird, Donald Duck, or Santa Claus house your cookies. You could store your cookies in a barbershop pole canister. A lighthouse could conceal your fresh baked treats. I wonder how much she would accept for the whole collection? A more thorough photo journalist than I would have asked this question and more. Alas.

The church rummage sale started at 8 so we skibbled on over there, quick like a bunny. Now the 2 cups of coffee and the 3 Diet Pepsis had done their thing and I had to pee. A church rummage sale is a yardsaler's haven because it always offers three things: shelter from the elements, a hearty bake sale, and guilt-free access to restrooms. But Calgary Lutheran had taped the restrooms shut! And their bake sale was actually a hot dog sale. Thankfully they had the air condition running strong so we were offered a reprieve from the steam bath outside. As I crossed my legs in urinary discomfort, I found only a few things to buy. The purple shoes in Laura's post were noteworthy. I found a few components for my pirate ensemble (more on that later!) But we were in and out of that place in no time, running across the parking lot to the coffee shop where their restroom was, mercifully, open for business. In celebration of my physical release I bought a giant rice crispy treat and a Diet Coke.

Refreshed by the refreshments at The Abbey, we hauled ass over to Chenot Place. But skivs abound on a hot, summer Saturday, and we were sidetracked in downtown Belleville. This sale called to us like a siren, its 30 vintage hats whispering promises of love:

I zippety-quick got on the phone with Stacey, our friend who appreciates and collects vintage hats. I can happily report that we were successful in making a love connection between Stacey and the hats. She bought 6.

In Chenot Place I finally bought a belt to hold up the sagging jeans. It is a white, braided leather number which didn't jump out at me as the most chic accessory I could have chosen but it got the job done.

Now, about the pirates.

Last fall I found a message in a bottle on my front porch:

It said, "You are invited to spend a day on a pirate ship! This voucher good for one adventure on Lake of Egypt during the 2010 sailing season." Remember Pam of Save-the-World, Help-the-Klekners, Nov. 2009? This was her way of thanking me for helping her liquidate her household inventory before she moved. My family and I were to spend the night at her lake house and ride on her pontoon boat which was disguised as a pirate ship. Here it is:

I should mention that the lake house and the ship also belong to Dave, Pam's husband. Dave is a creative genius and probably invented this whole pirate pontoon thing.

We were instructed to arrive in costume. So during my morning of yardsaling I was searching for pirate-y components for our vacation wardrobes. I was able to buy a few shirts, a vest, and a couple of sashes. Total cost: $4.35. During the drive down to the lake I used child safety scissors to strategically cut and shred the clothes to make 7 pirate costumes for my family. Pam had earrings, necklaces, and eye patches ready for us. Here we are:

We pillaged and plundered. We shot canons at the enemy. We shouted "aaargh" and "shiver me timbers" through my new megaphone at passing boats. We were a fearsome crew. We ran ashore at the dock of some neighbors, where we walked the plank (jumped from the roof of their dock).

In the lower level of these neighbors' lake house is a treasure the owners scored for free from Laura. She garbage picked this vanity. What once was unwanted trash now nobly enhances the rustic elegance of Kris and Matt's cabin:

Until next week, faithful readers.

Nancy

Oh happy day

Here is the artist of the below picture. What signage! Who would not be enticed to attend such a sale?

Doesn't this sign just make you happy? What a fun yard sale start to the day!

Nancy, showing off the most purplicious shoe ever at the church sale (more on this later).

Here is Chris, a fellow school parent, beating us to these excellent tins. This was at an estate sale, which was of course excellent, judging by the quality merchandise Chris is sneaking away with under our very noses.

Here is the lovely school secretary also at the estate sale. She makes a mean Texas sheet cake. Seriously. Pay this woman for her sheet cake. You will not be disappointed.

Here are blog followers, Kim and friends! Look at all their excellent loot and happy smiles!

Readers, it was a good day. We got started late, which was totally my fault. Here is Samantha, finding an excellent bargain on hairbrushes.

A little later we traveled to Calgary Lutheran Church, which held high promise, but disappointingly had a hands-off-the-bathroom policy, which we were desperate for. So that was a big negative in our book (the book that has yet to be written. Really, we are too busy spending our husbands' $6 to write. Yes. I brought $6 today. Pathetic, I know). Nancy got the best megaphone ever at this sale. Anyway, on the plus side, Calgary Lutheran did have this excellent indoor shuffle board court.

Here is a lovely estate sale and Jeff, who bought the metal tub I wanted. No hard feelings, Jeff. You somehow managed to spot it first. Ah, the thrill of the hunt.

This is how happy yard saling makes me. These pom poms were 75 cents and are the official pom poms of 7 of Nancy and my kids' school. (I realize, gramatically, the previous sentence makes no sense. Get your own blog if you are picky about sentence structure). Did either one of us buy them? Nope.

Here is Renee, a flight attendant who had the most excellent vintage toys ever. She played with them herself when she was a child. Samantha scored big time here.

My haul: 15 bakugans for $5. My boys are crazy in like with Bakugans. I scored 2 bags of free sports shorts for my oldest and bathings suits for me. 3 beanie babies for $2. (If you are keeping track, that is $7. I had $6 in paper money and about $2 in change). See, I had to somewhat bribe my very sad sons, who did not come with us today. They were sad they were not attending, but I convinced them hanging out with Dad is way better.

And then: Debbie. Debbie is having a sale July 9th. Readers, you simply must attend Debbie's sale. It will be excellent, that is, if there is anything left after Nancy and Sam and I have bought our fill. If you want to know where Debbie's sale is, leave a comment and I will post it. Anyway, I heard through the email grapevine Debbie had 15 years worth of stuff and she is moving. She graciously allowed us to roam through the most excellent basement ever (complete with rock wall!) and have our pick of the treasures. I purchased a food dehydrator for $1. And tomorrow my husband and I are somehow transporting a full-sized ping pong table along our street for $15. I will have to see if someone is available to snap our photo, as moving large items down the blvd. has become somewhat of a tradition for Nancy and I. We will see how it goes with replacing my husband with Nancy. He will probably want to do it properly, so we don't break anything or something, whereas Nancy and I have no plan or forethought. Like he might even insist we move it in the van. If you can imagine the practicality of such a thing. Stay tuned for the ping pong table update and Nancy's recounting of the day.

Today, business. Tomorrow, pleasure.

Got a late start this morning. I had to take JoJo to Cardinal Glennon for a follow-up appointment following the last follow-up appointment for her then-broken arm. I don't know how much my insurance company will have to pay for today's visit, but after, "Yeah. She looks fine." I think anything would probably be too much.

Yardsaling didn't start until 9:30. This is midday in yardsale-time. I was accompanied by the incoming 6th graders again: Donny, Devin, and Bob (previously known as "Bobby"). Devin read last week's blog and is thrilled with his new fame. He is also enjoying his papasan chair. He only had $11 this week, so he had to be rather choosy. As I mentioned last week, I love spending time with these kids. Today, however, they spent a little too much time nagging me about things like "speeding" and "traffic laws". Don't forget who has the license, Boys. Just sit back and enjoy the ride.

It was all about the stuff today. There were no wild characters, no wacky items, not even any owls. Just good stuff at great prices. I will attempt to recall and list my many purchases:

• Southern Living at Home Hemingway Hurricane, list price $34.96, today's price, $2.
• Another SL@H hurricane with a fancy name that I couldn't find in the catalog. Same list, same $2.
• SL@H Renaissance Hurricane, list price $79.95. Today's price, $2.
• Table top size chest of drawers for Oscar's YuGiOh card collection which currently covers every inch of carpet in his room. It is a YuGiOh-card-carpet.
• Medium box full of raw wood items suitable for painting and crafting.
• One black visor with red flames and "Universal Studios" on the brim, for Oscar.
• Some unused honey-almond bath accessories
• One PlayHut pop-up tent, approximately 6 feet x 6 feet x 6 feet, presently occupying my whole living room.
• One Nintendo DS Littlest Pet Shop video game, for JoJo on the plane to California next week. $5.
• Five lidded Tupperware containers, 20 cents each.
• Two paperback books.
• New-in-Box Mary Kay mascara, black. $1.
• Two new nail care sets which include polishes, creams, utensils, and myriad other mani-pedi related stuff that I know nothing about but am giving to Louie's friend for her 14th birthday tonight. Have no fear, first I called her to make sure she wouldn't be squeamish about a garage sale gift. She's on board the yardsale adventure train! Toot toot!
• Sketchers flip flops with rainbow straps. $1.
• Seriously awesome leather man-bag. 50 cents.
• Small puppet theater for my little friend Art. $1.
• One box of high quality beads and jewelry making supplies for my friend Nita. $6.
• One large plant.
• 200 Pokemon cards. For Oscar's table top bureau. See above.
• Dancing Cookie Monster stuffed animal. For Henry.
• Four boxes of things-that-pop-loudly-when-you-throw-them-on-the-ground for Louie, because he is a teenage boy and they like that sort of thing.
• Stuffed beagle for Louie, because he is still a little guy deep inside.
• New-With-Tags Thermos brand cooler with retractable pull handle and wheels. $5.

Donny bought a S'More making kit.

Bob (previously known as "Bobby") bought a ping pong paddle.

Devin bought a Nerf gun and also a lava lamp.

I should mention that Nerf weaponry is the most highly coveted of all yardsale merchandise. Devin was the lucky buyer simply because he got to it first. It was only $1. Bobby instantly offered 2. Donny countered with 5. The proprietor was already in the midst of the $1 transaction and could not legitimately raise his price, but boy did he undervalue that gun!

We were all business today. There was a brief QT stop for taquitos, of course, but I also had to buy gas.

I got to take a picture of a random stranger, but only because I left my camera at a sale and when I went back to retrieve it I discovered that this guy had tried to buy it.

But tomorrow will be just for fun!

As you know, because you are a faithful follower of the YSA blog, we will have a reunion of sorts tomorrow. Laura, Samantha, and I are going back to our YSA roots, back to a simpler time when we were young and carefree, a time when we could yardsale unrecognized, before our fame and popularity became so powerful that fellow salers would ask for our autographs... no one has actually asked for our autographs yet, but if you read this and then you see us yardsaling and then you ask me for my autograph, I will pay you one dollar! (This does not apply to people I may be yardsaling with at the time of the autograph. Nice try, Devin.) We have been plotting all week how to ditch the kids. Will Laura be able to sneak out before 7AM without her boys? Tune in tomorrow and see! Samantha's husband is finally home from like 16 years in Qatar or something so I think she has some comp-time built up. As for me, I have to be home by 11AM so we can leave for an overnight at a friend's lake house. This friend is Pam (refer to "Save the World, Help the Klekners" of Nov. 3, 2009), a faithful YSA follower and original owner of Laura's beautiful stripped cabinet (refer to "Moving Memories and Mice" of June 10, 2010). If the YSA gods smile on us, Pam might just get a special hostess gift hot off the lawn of some yardsale proprietor!

wish list and names

Here are the items I am looking for on Saturday: metal fish-cleaning sink for Kris' cabin, birthday present for someone who may or may not be a regular contributor of this blog, old drinking fountain because Samantha suggested it would be cool and she is always right, lotion (new, of course-even I have standards), laptop holder since I have broken mine too many times schlepping it places, manly dumbbells for my husband (my 15 pounders are not cutting it anymore), a chinup bar for same husband, and anything weird and wooden and junky.
Also, in researching our adventure for this weekend, I have noticed a disturbing trend that I have already blogged about, but it is so disturbing it merits another discussion: saddling subdivisions with stately-sounding monkiers. The Estates at Plum Hill has had mention before, but here is a new one: Hopp Hollow. Sounds delightful, yes? You may imagine a midwestern, picturesque farming community oozing junky random crap, complete with weathered barns, cows, and farmers named Rusty with back issues of farm magazines dating to the Eisenhower administration. You would be an imbecile. Hopp Hollow is a vinyl village, from what I could tell from the satellite map. Yes. Nothing remotely junky or dirty here, unless they are one of the increasingly frequent houses we happen upon at which there are 30 years worth of Playboy. Developers, please do us at YSA HQ a favour (notice the fancy British spelling. We are class. Notice I did not write "classy". That is how classy I am): name your subderision (ha! Get it?) an appropriate, adjective-intense name like "Square-yards-no-trees-a-looza" Then the crack R&D team wouldn't be forced to spy on the area, stalker-like, to see if it is up to my level of (also previously ruminated upon) yard sale snobbery and exclusivity.

Triumverate trifecta

Readers, you will be thrilled to know that this Saturday will be a glorious gathering of giddiness as both Samantha and myself join Nancy in the reunion YSA tour '10. Ok so it technically hasn't been long enough that we have all saled (and I am aware this isn't a real word. It is not the first time a word has been made up for purposes of this blog) together to qualify as a reunion. A reuinion of sorts, if you will. But, really, with my poor researching skills and distracted driving, Nancy's zaniness and enthusiasm, and Samantha's cool, calm, and collected instrospection, we are the ultimate force in yard saling forces, should the need for forces arise on any given Saturday. And did I mention the driving? Readers, should you happen to see a mom-type vehicle skiiving wildy about with various stuffed animals being flung out of windows this Saturday, I advise you to steer clear.
Oh the blogging that will occur on Saturday afternoon after we have had our naps. Be ready.

The Longest Day

Saturday was the longest day of my life -- so long it lasted until Monday morning.

YSA PART 1:

I woke at 6AM and rallied the day's troops, three incoming 6th graders who were asleep on the couch in my basement. Word of the great fun and mind-blowing bargains of the YSA has reached the ten year old crowd. My son Donny and his friends Bobby and Devin were ready to roll. First stop: coffee, cash, donuts, and Bug Juice, which Devin reports is very disgusting in its grape form.

I think maybe I am a ten year old boy in an adult woman's body (like my own, private Freaky Friday or something?) because I had FUN with these guys. They think farts are funny, as do I. They let the class B swear words fly (these would be words like crap, ass, damn, hell -- not the big class A offensive words [which I can't even type here because they would be so offensive to the YSA readership!], just the less offensive ones that make any sentence funnier.)

I should mention that Devin had a crisp twenty budgeted for the day's sales. I think his mom gave it to him.

On to the sales. Focus, People.

First stop, a three-sale block of Brittany Lane in Belleville. Right away my eagle eye honed in on this. (I gasped as if I were having a heart attack but then remembered how Laura tells me to use my poker face at sales to disguise my desperation for the product in question, thereby increasing my bargaining leverage.)

This is the mother load of Littlest Pet Shop toys. JoJo colects them and I support her habit because they are so freakin' cute. (Freakin' is a class B swear, don't you think?) The asking price for this LPS hotel and undisclosed number of pets was $30. I offered $20. Their previous owner settled at $25. I snapped it up and did the skeedaddle out of that driveway because I knew I had just scored big and didn't want the lady to change her mind and chase me down the street screaming, "Wait! Wait! That wasn't enough!!" (This has never actually happened to us but I live in fear of it.)

At Target you can buy an LPS for $3 if it has only a few little pieces of plastic accessories. You could pay $6 if there are bigger plastic accessories or two pets in the pack. On Ebay you can buy them used for about 2 bucks each.

In the car I made Donny count the pets. Seventy-seven Littlest Pet Shop pets and their hotel for $25! That constitutes a Find, People. Feel free to congratulate me in the comments section.

Further down the street Devin encountered the chair of his dreams. It was big and soft and comfy. It did not smell noticeably of cat or smoke. It had no bodily fluid stains on its surface. He wanted this chair badly, and after a quick call to his mother for permission to bring a large piece of furniture into the house (my idea) he knew he had to have it. The asking price was $15. Now Devin had that crisp twenty in his pocket so he could have paid the asking price but he knew it was early and there would be more treasure around every corner. "How many more sales are we going to, Nancy?" "About a hundred, Devin." "Well, crap, I don't want to spend all my money on this." He offered ten. The owner brought him up to $14. Devin deftly countered with $13. Sold! His enthusiasm was uncontainable. The boys lugged that chair into the Van-O-Dreams and Devin rode unrestrained in the papasan for the rest of our journey.

Also at the papasan sale, I noticed this item:

I thought it was a cool letter O which I could hang on the wall in Oscar's room. But when I picked it up I felt it was soft and squishy. "What is this?" I asked the proprietess. "Ummm... after I had my baby my husband went to Walgreens and bought me that so I could sit down."

Oh. I see.

Then the boys noticed me and the interesting yellow O. "What is that, Nancy?" asked Devin. "I'll tell you when we get in the van."

So I explained the need for the pillow to three ten year old boys. All they could do was giggle and say "Crap, that's gross." Hell, yes, boys. It is damn gross.

On to North Charles Street! It is a three block stretch where good things happen to yardsalers. It is a Bermuda Triangle of good shopping. It was North Charles Street where we met Shirley, where we bought the ammunition case bookshelf, and where I scored some high art for a dollar. This time we found a disco ball, at least 18 inches in diameter, with a working rotation device and a plug, not just a lame battery compartment. This is the king of disco balls. Devin wanted it but it was ten dollars. There was much discussion about the inherent value of disco balls. All present agreed that disco balls make life more fun. Devin disclosed that he had only seven dollars left. There was thoughtful silence. The owner offered it for five. Sold! "That's the best damn disco ball, ever!" said Donny. As we drove away, the sunlight scattered into thousands of tiny twinkles on the van ceiling and we were content.

Next stop, Belleville East High School where the dance team was holding a fundraiser. Good stuff, good music. I think Donny spent a dollar on some playground balls which we played with all weekend. Bobby found a slushee maker. Devin spent one of his two remaining dollars on some electronic equipment. I bought a belt. But about this time I started feeling like I would rather have been running than shopping. It wasn't scorching hot yet, there was a perfect breeze in the air, lots of other runners were out on the street, and I felt the urge to join them. So we wrapped up our yardsale adventure and headed home early.

YSA PART 2:

After a short run which was much more enjoyable in theory than it was in reality, we packed for our overnight in Oswego. My sister (who is technically my ex-stepsister because her dad and my mom were married but are now divorced, but at some point you take responsibility for your own relationships and so we just say "sister") lives in Oswego. Oswego is a town in northern Illinois which was originally a vast, open prairie but now has lots and lots of new subdivisions. Laura and I usually scoff at the vinyl houses and prominent garages of new developments, but Oswego has an endearing quality I don't often feel from similar places. Theyare well-planned neighborhoods with bike trails and schools integrated into the communities. There is a lovely, old main street from back when Oswego was part of the Oregon Trail or something. Most of all, Oswego is home to Heather, Anthony, and their kids, the most geographically proximal of all our relatives. And Oswego was holding their annual Prairie Fest!

Prairie Fest is part carnival, part flea market. In an effort to stay on topic I will discuss the flea market, because, while it is not an actual yardsale, it was an unconventional shopping venue offering some unusual products. Such as this lawn goose and her wardrobe:

Seriously? A lawn goose? The gnome is out of fashion or something? Good grief.

Then we saw this display of purses and totes.

My heart did a little skip-a-dee-do-da because I love bags! It is some genetic predisposition I inherited from my mother. These bags are sold through the home-party circuit under the brand "Thirty-One". The bags are affordably priced and wicked cute. My new friend Lindsay lives in Springfield and will travel all over the darn state to bring you and your friends the Thirty-One catalog! After 10 minutes with her, both Heather and I were ready to sign up to become independent sales consultants!

I'm still on the fence about signing up... trust me, if I do you YSA followers will be the first to know!

Any Fest worth its salt has some delicious fest-food, right? Guess what?! Taquitos! Five dollars for three which is not that far off from our standard QT-2-for-2-dollars deal.

Here is the taquito seller and her mother who generously listened to my enthusiastic schpiel (is this a real word?) about yardsaleadventures, QT, and the purse-party concept. I think they might be my first purse-party customers!

So after the kids rode the carnival rides and ate crappy food, we headed home to regroup. We propped all 8 cousins in front of the TV with the entire set of Harry Potter movies, fluffed our hair, and headed back to Prairie Fest for...

YSA PART 3:

The headliner for Saturday night at Prairie Fest was Eddie Money, who we all agreed was super drunk but still rockin' the house. We brought lawn chairs and settled in for the perfect summer night. I hope you have all had this summertime experience: the sky is clear, the breeze is warm, you are surrounded by people you love, every face is smiling, and the beer tent is only 50 feet away.

And as this is a yardsale blog, not a movie called The Hangover, I will only post a few choice pictures from the evening, pictures of my new best friends, their favorite bar, and the Oswego Chief of Police. Enough said.

It was truly the longest day of my life. See you next week after another yardsale adventure! Until then, I leave you with the best bumper sticker of the day:

I read the blog regularly, you silly goose! And there is no gift needed except your presence on a yardsaling adventure in the near future. Remember last year when you had a surprise party for me and then gave me a Goodwill gift certificate? Ahhh. The good old days.

Tonight I am blogging from Oswego, IL. Look it up on your map. Tune in tomorrow to learn of my Oswego adventures!

The perfect birthday gift (Shh!)

So Nancy's birthday is in 2 weeks. Or so. I am too tired to look at the calendar. I need to find her something, or I shall have to fork over some possession of mine. Or not. Because chances are I might forget. I am thinking the Stephen King doll would be perfect.
Next week I have a light(er) school load, with only 4 exams. I am thinking next Saturday is in, readers. I have been craving the thrill of the chase, the open road at 6:43am as we head into parts unknown (well, not really, but you know what I mean), the mad dash to the QT for taquitos and other less-than-wholesome snacks, and of course my R and D.
For someone as highly disorganized as me, putting together my messy version of a where-shall-we-go-next map is a chance to use my sorely underdeveloped and lacking orienteering skills. I don't do this well, mind you, and often I can not read my own writing, but it is a fun, adult version of a treasure or scavenger hunt: looking on various web sites to find the sales, figuring out where they are, the potential order, and if it is a vinyl siding neighborhood, in which case my inner yard sale snob disdainfully decides it is not worth our time. Also, it gives me something to do. Did I mention that normally my list gets shoved to the bottom of my purse or lost in the pile of treasures? I really, really suck at it.
Stay tuned to see if I rejoin Nancy and the YSA. Maybe we can even convince Samantha to join us?

Fame

I need Laura to finish nursing school and get back to work on the yardsale circuit. I am no good at Research & Development. I didn't check the News-Democrat until this morning and even then all I came up with was a raw list of the bazillion sales in the metro-east that started on Friday. Here is the list:

I am no good at turning this raw list into a yardsale action plan. In theory, I should use my $11.95 yellow detail map to find every sale. Remember this handy dandy St. Clair County street map?:

And then I should plot all the sales on the giant whiteboard like so many trigonometric coordinates:

And then I should use my full-size metro-east paper map to guide me from sale to sale:

But I did not.

What did I do? I shoved my babies in the Explorer and headed down Main St. looking for signs.

Pitiful. Just pitiful.

It's just too hard! I need Laura and her tenacious scientific analysis for maximum yardsaling efficiency. (haha! I said "tenacious" just for Donna Veile! Maybe she will comment with the "tenacious" story about the word "tenacious"!) When Laura is in charge of R&D, I operate the vehicle, and Samantha navigates, we are an amazing yardsaling team! We could be the US Olympic Yardsale Team! All other combinations of participants and duties are only attempts to reclaim the glory of the earliest days of the Yardsale Adventures. (Heavy sigh)

Anywho... I took JoJo and Oscar with me today. Out of necessity, in truth, although I do always enjoy their company. Like any children, if they are well-rested and well-fed they will be well-behaved. Since I woke them at 6:30 during summer vacation I was hoping well-fed would be enough. I packed this "magical bag of snacks" thinking that marketing is everything and that if I called the snack bag "magical" they would believe that graham crackers, Ritz, and peanuts were the most delicious snacks ever!

No luck. A sleepy Oscar refused to be photographed, but when he looked into the magical bag of snacks I can tell you that he made this expression:

Our very first sale of the day was in Swansea, that itty bitty town that somebody shoved between Belleville, Fairview Heights, and Shiloh. But when the BND advertises "Neighborhood Sale" I pay attention because to me that means "many sales in a short amount of time". Our first sale was a winner. It was perfectly sunny and warm, not yet scorching hot as it would get later in the day. The sale was robust, full of both high quality and high quantity merchandise. Here are my babies, basking in the early morning sunshine, their chlorine-bleached hair aglow in its greenness, perusing boxes of the most coveted of merchandise: Legos and Pollies.

This sale had lots of stuff priced to sell. But I think maybe they were crazy. Look at this:

This is a freakin' KIRBY vacuum for sale for $4!

Kirby, if you have been living under a rock or something, happens to be the best vacuum on Earth. At least that is what the guy said when he came to my house last summer and, after sucking gallons of dust mites from my carpets and mattresses, convinced me to spend $1200 on the exact Kirby model you see above.

This guy (dressed like a real player, don't you think?) bought the four dollar Kirby AND the Legos. I think he is some sort of shopping genius, this guy. I want to be married to him.

In the interest of full-disclosure, JoJo did acquire a Box-o-Pollies for only two dollars. We would have paid ten. I was thinking these thoughts as I decided not to present the proprietess with my YSA card. I didn't want her to feel bad. Here is Jo looking delighted with her Find:

From there we drove aimlessly, like travelers lost in the night -- or Joseph and Mary looking for an inn -- or chickens without heads -- for the book version of YSA I will have to choose an analogy -- we found a well-advertised skiv heavy on the girl toys. They offered this 3 foot doll for $10. Reader, I am telling you only Stephen King himself would have bought this doll. It was unquestionably possessed. You be the judge:

It was scarier in person. Trust me. I almost bought it just so I could burn it.

We headed toward O'Fallon. I was looking for better quality used crap. Usually I focus my yardsaling efforts on Belleville. But in Belleville we get a lot of old, weird crap. Some days I want old and weird. In fact, it is safe to say that usually I am looking for the most old, weird, random, arbitrary crap I can find... something that will make me laugh out loud and say, "What the...?" But today I felt like buying something nice, maybe some nice clothes or a discarded organizational device from Target.

But O'Fallon is new and uncharted territory for me! When do Rt. 50 and State Street diverge? What is with the traffic circle? Why are there so many new subdivisions? Needless to say, I got terribly lost, despite my excellent yellow map. The whole morning was different and new. Instead of QT we visited Circle K. (I will admit I felt a little embarrassed after last week's restroom debacle and therefore may have subconsciously tried to avoid the regular QT.) Instead of taquitos I had two egg rolls. Instead of weird, random, rusty crap we bought nice stuff!

There was a well-advertised neighborhood sale in Windsor Creek. They had signs all over the place. There was no way I could have missed this one. The first sign we saw upon entering the subdivision was this:

Honestly. Don't you just want to shove dollar bills into the chubby little hand that penned this sign? I'm sure they had nothing I wanted, but the sign was so precious I had to post it. However, they were offering this stuffed animal of note. It is a little side-hobby of mine to find "El Toro of Love" whenever he is for sale. It seems that the Hallmark corporation offered "El Toro of Love" a year or two ago and a lot of people bought him. We have seen "El Toro of Love" for sale no fewer than 5 times on the yardsale circuit. My own son, Henry, fell prey to the El Toro siren song. First, I offer a photo of today's El Toro. Then a video of Henry's previously purchased El Toro so you know what all the fuss is about... Except after 52 million tries I can't post the video of El Toro proclaiming his love for you. It sounds like this: "I am El Toro of Love. You are spicy like one million hot jalepenos!" But it is even better than that. I'm sorry I can't make the video load:

So I'm in the Windsor Creek subdivision, I'm attending all the sales they have to offer, and I come to a familiar looking cul-de-sac. "Hmmm. This looks like Kim's neighborhood." I think. Then I see the address "1000". I think, "Kim's address was 1000." Duh. I inadvertently stumbled upon my friend's yardsale!!

Readers, we must ask ourselves:

1. Why did Kim not call me to tell me she was having a yardsale?!

2. Why do I not attend to my friends faithfully enough so that I know when they are having yardsales?

From Kim we bought a Gator Golf apparatus and quite a few lovely stuffed animals. All present agreed that new stuffed animals should be properly introduced to one's existing stuffed animals so as not to create stuffed animal conflict or anxiety. Also, Josh is very sorry he inadvertently stole those cool signs from U of I.

After that we went home. I had to pick up the boys from tennis camp.

But today I gave some thought to serendipity. There are so many sales during the high summer months, a person could never attend them all, even if she were a devoted yardsale fanatic like me. And at each sale I meet a new friend, make a new contact, find a new treasure that begs reporting on the yardsale blog. It is only Dumb Luck that determines who gets blogged and who does not. For better or for worse, some of you yardsalers get press while others wallow in obscurity.

Today, as I casually minded by own beeswax at a yardsale, a woman approached me and said, "Are you bloggin' today?"

Well, HELL YES I am bloggin'!

But more importantly I had been recognized as The Blogger by a woman I did not recognize! That is FAME, People! And then I saw Jack. Jack is a yardsale regular who notices my car when it is parked in front of a sale! Tomorrow I will have to get a photo of Jack. He has excellent long hair. I am not sure Jack has a day job, if you know what I mean. Jack, call me and tell me where to find you tomorrow!! It will make excellent blogging if I can showcase you and your purchases!

Dudes! I am seriously famous! And you are my original-est fans!

Anywho... I saw a street today in O'Fallon called Smiley St. I would like to know the history behind Smiley St. because that is an excellent name for a street if you ask me. It made me smile, that's for sure.

Until tomorrow, Readers. I know you lie in bed at night hoping I will attend your yardsale or at least enlighten you to the presence of some excellent yardsale merchandise!

Tune in!